Wine Flu Pandemic

I went to a dinner party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed copious amounts of alcohol.

I awoke this morning not feeling well, with what could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes, etc.

From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu.

This debilitating condition is very serious - and it appears this is not an isolated case.

Reports are flooding in from all around the country of others diagnosed with Wine Flu. To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down.

However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately rent a DVD and take a nap. Others are reporting a McDonald's Happy Meal can also help in some cases. If neither of these responses improves the situation, immediate re-application of the original liquid (in similar quantities to the original dose) has also been shown to do the trick.

Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening and, if treated early, can be eradicated within a 24-48 hour period.

MUTATION DANGER:
Repeated exposure to Wine Flu or a severe case of its symptoms may produce a highly unpleasant mutation, commonly known as Whine Flu.

Sneezl